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Finally remembered password. lol [04 Jun 2010|10:26pm]
ITs been ages, since I've written in this thing. Just feeling down, I should just write in my actual journal. No one reads this and no one cares. I barely remember what I've written in this journal anyway.

But at least I know its here when I need to turn to it.
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I Love Food! [08 Jul 2009|05:20pm]
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The Darkness Stirs [08 Apr 2009|05:02pm]
[ mood | cold ]

The pain of my heart, locked deep inside, has slowly began to stir. As anger and sadness overwhelms my existence. I don't like feeling like this, but there is no longer any light for me to feed off from. I'm being degraded, yelled at, basically deemed worthless and it tears at me. I thought I was strong enough to battle such, but from who its coming from I never thought it would. Its a shock and disappointment. I suddenly feel like this house is a cage, and I can't find the way out. Talking is not going to work this time, its just a band-aid that everyone has the urge to just rip off.

I'm angry, that I was told that I'm just being taken care of. That I am not as pretty on the outside, that I'm not as sexy because I've gained some weight. Because I don't do my hair or make up or look like the fake girls that walk the streets of everyday. I am usually more complimented when I don't wear makeup.

I hate you sometimes. I always sad that I didn't deserve you, but honestly now, I think its the other way around. You are superficial, asshole.

Don't ask me to move in with you, be with you and then say that I am more like a burden.

If you didn't want to marry me, then why ask?

We'll never be, one will we?

Will you ever just listen?

Or will I have to change to suit your needs?

Am I fighting a worthless battle?

I thought you were different.

A nd you were. I 've never have someone get so close, and tear me apart.

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Going no where [02 Apr 2009|08:42pm]
[ mood | crushed ]


So I've been officially engaged for a year. Yay! But this whole wedding thing seems, too far away. I think its going to be anywhere from 2 years to 2 and a half. I think I should be done with college then. It seems to be working out that way by what my guidelines states. But regardless, I just havent been getting all the psyched about it lately. I think me not really having any female friends is putting a big damper on things and well the fact that the only real female friend I have just isn't around anymore to support me. So I feel well lonely and like I'm missing out on something. I talked to my mom about it and she understood. Sam and I just aren't as close as we use to be. I really am not sure if well she's really the one I should be making my maid of honor or matron of honor in her case. My mom suggested having a man of honor instead but well the closest guy friends i have are Davey which couldn't come and well Mike use to be my best guy friend but he won't even talk to me let alone it'd be awkward to have him be my man of honor at another guys wedding.  The only other two guys that I really relate to after that is Tim and Jason. But well I just don't think it'd work.

I did get an idea for a theme though. My green color that I want and with apple blossoms since I want a spring wedding in my parents backyard. I did start getting some ideas for a centerpiece and what not.  A vase with apple blossoms branches coming out with small crystals hanging from them, with hints and hues of pink and petals strewn on the tablecloth with votives of soft white, green and pink candles.

Aside from all the wedding stuff. I just haven't been too happy with myself. I'm at 166 lbs and I was only 135 lbs just under two years ago. Thats like anywhere from 15 to 20 lbs a year of weight gain. and I'm afraid it'll just keep esculating. So I joined a website called SparkPeople that has a weight tracker and a nutritional tracker so I know how much calories i'm consuming and what not and so that it'll help me take some control and hopefully other people on there will help motivate me. I have found one person named Kimmie that seems to be well atuned and very helpful with my trouble areas. SO i'm looking forward to it I've only done it my first day. I do have to say that I do feel better even thought I haven't had any pop to drink or anything else like caffine. And wel lI didn't feel tired either. So thats good I really do hope this works out for me.

Another thing lately is that our lease is going up soon and well we have to determine whether it will be cheaper to sign another lease here or to find another apartment some where else and just have to move again. So we're gonna go look at a few apartments and see whats available in the areas of our interest. Theres the one thats around here and then there's one out by the mall that seems reasonable but I have read at least one complaint about them. So we'lre gonna look on our next day off together and then crunch some numbers and see how it will work out. I just really don't want to move again already. UGH.

So I've just been kind of depressed lately with everything that just seems to not be going well for me. Work is just stressful and I'm heavier than I would like to be, not getting married anytime soon. And just seem to be on the bottom of the social ladder. And well for a while there I felt like I was being ignored by chris. He just would always go in the other room and play his games and what not and just leave me alone in my room for hours. We didn't go do anything and just sat around at home all the time. Which I talked to him about and we're working on now.  Which I think the fact that we dont go out and do anything is what makes me probably gain more weight. That and we just eat out all the time it seems. So enough is enough. WE're going to start working on it all.

I told him I wanted to go camping sometime this summer and go on a picninc. Now that I know how to get to the beach I will most definetely take advantage of it.

Lastly, I really really want to start a new savings account for our wedding fund. Even if it is just a small start I really want to do this. I want it to be perfect.

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Oi Ve [19 Feb 2009|10:26am]
[ mood | bored ]


So apparently I cannot say the word retarded, gay, stupid, black, white, savage,  otherwise i might offend the other people.

This is like Wal-Mart all over again.

Why is it that people get offended of seeing couples of biracial standards. Don't know. -shrugs- I guess they just don't want to open their eyes to a new race.

I wonder if I'll offend people if i describe things as ghetto.....-ponders-

guess i'll have to privatize my journal again.

Maybe I should quit developing video games coz you know they apparently teach children to be violent because parentsdon't heed the M rating of a video game a LA Grand Theft Auto.

And we shouldn't listen to Linkin Park or there will be another Columbian Shooting.

I hate those conversations too.

Nope lets say that kids that play DND or use the Ouija board are playing games of the Devil but its okay to play video games thatcuss and have prostitutes and they're only 8. Its the parents job to determine how mature their child is and what they should be capable of playing. 9 out of 10 times a child is mimicking personalities of their life at home or what they feel they are being treated at school and retaliate in the only way they know how.

Although if I'm angry sure I listen to angry music to get it out. Screaming always helps. If I'm pissy I play a hack o slash game just to kill people on there. Direct anger in a positive way.

But I don't have children yet so maybe I shouldn't speak. -shrugs- but i am entitled to my opinion.


ANYHOO!!!!! So went to the bar last night for Chelle's birthday and had a good time. I'm not much for drinking but it was still fun. Chris tried to teach me how to play pool. LOl. yea I suck. Watched Chelle karoake Ice ice Baby. That was pretty funny. She was already long gone. Lol. I had a few UV Lemonades which are yummy and got up and danced Big Butts while her, moon and paul sang. Will have to go again sometime it was pretty cool. Cept too many people smoking. thought I was gonna gag. And my hair smells like smoke.

Donut called to invite me to a party this weekend. I might go although its a way out of town. And I might have to drive home. Hrm.

Got my hair cut. a lil like scene hair but more like Lightning from FFXIII, pretty neato.

Seen the new UnderWorld Movie. Thought it was pretty cool. Sex scene was a little odd. And slightly unecessary. But Lucian was pretty freaking cool. And for some reason I thought Vicktors daughter Sonya had blonde hair. but its been forever since I've seen the first one.

Kanon Wakishima is one of the creepest but coolest gothic lolita J-singers. I don't know how people try to compare Kerli to her. Kerli isn't anywhere near Kanon. If you are not familar with Kanon she is the singer for the closing end songs for Vampire Knight.

Well I'm getting bored of rambling on about silly nonsense. So I have an exam to take and Disgaea to watch.

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Yay, crappy V-day [14 Feb 2009|05:39pm]
So not much is going on. Happy V-day everyone. Just sitting here with the dog. Trying to get some friends together to maybe go see a movie. Chris is sick, apparently. I guess he might have food poisoning. So I'm just letting him sleep it off in bed. Enjoy what I can of my valentines day. Me and Jason are probably going to go see the new friday the 13th movie or he's just not that into you.  prolly have some fast food and be retarded together. Other than that

School has been going prettygood. Totally learning about being on the marketing and development team for video games. Assasins creed fucking pretty and pretty damned cool. a little repetitive and the damned glitches on lvl 9 were retarded but alls good. Can't wait for the sequel. N3 was alright. lack of storyline but was still fun for a hack o slasho. will play the second but most likely just rent it. still waiting for the L4D downloads

Zack and miri make a porno was an alright movie. My best friends girl was pretty funny.

gonna go see the new friday the 13th movie with pence. maybe i'll get some pizza hut too. yum. lovies the breadsticks still not as good as spankies tho. oh well.  been playing Disgaea for DS guess its a remake of the first one. hour of darkness. which is cool. took a while to get use to the controls. still trying to figure some stuff out. money is a rare necessity.
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David's Bridal Dress Your Wedding [13 Jan 2009|09:27pm]
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DyingButterfly [13 Jan 2009|08:34pm]
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[27 Nov 2008|10:28pm]
So, back to work everyone is starting to get stressed out of course. crazy people. I'm not done with my shopping yet either but oh well. I have a few things for chris and stuff for my mom and well not so much for my dad a few for dilly and thats about all. Still need to do something for chris' friends and his family. we're going cheapy this year or az lazy and just doing gift cards. we just don't really have the money all that much. that and I'mt rying to save for a laptop. before.


that was written a few days before. so i acutally got my laptop. I ended up gettinga toshiba 15 in with 3 gb ram and 250 hardrive. Its pretty cool I like it and have used it since. my desktop is infected so its been barely turned on. I actually like norton despite how anal it really is. but it keeps the nasties out.

Aside from that Chris got a new car. he got him a 2008 chevy cobalt as well but in a silver. he got it at a steal also and it kind made me mad i wish i would have waited. but oh well at least i don't have to drive the explorere anymore and that it won't break on me any time soon. we'll be a little tight on money here and there but we'll work it out we always do. might have to push the wedding back another year too but hey things like that can wait.

also got me some new video games for like half off coz meijers was having a deal. I ended up getting left 4 dead for $30 Lost Odyssey for $20 Gears of War for $15 and FF4 for DS for $20 so I actually saved about $90 altogether. so it was a steal.

Left for dead is fun as hell but would be more fun playing with a set of full four people. Lost odyssey i haven't gotten too far yet but so far its friggin pretty. the graphics are gorgeous and the music is kinda captivating.

I wanted to get another game for my ps3 but i couldn't decide. i thought about heavenly sword but i heard that its so short if figured i could prolly rent it for two nights and beat it. I was looking at Valkyria Chronicles but didn't know anything about it. and fallout 3 doesn't look like something i'd play. i want FF13 needs to hurry its ass up and RE5. seriously.

otherwise thanksgiving was okay. had to work ate dinner and chris played some L4D but he went to bed coz he has to be to work early that and he hasn't been feeling too well. i think i keep him up too late someitmes. poor baby.

well gonna play some more and hit the hay. see yas and happy thanksgiving
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Reviews [07 Nov 2008|11:09pm]
So, I've been on vacation for a week. Haven't been doing too much but playing games, watching anime/movies, listening and finding new bands, and reading manga and Chris is trying to teach me how to play magic the gathering.

Reviews of what I've been into lately.

Anime:

Ergo Proxy (finally own all series) I would have to say that the anime itself is decent. REally good at the beginning but a bit confusing towards the end. There are things I think they could have done to make it better but over all I did still like Re-L no matter what. Even tho at some point she was REALLY really bitchy and lets just say her AutoReiv let her know it.

Trinity Blood: (finally own all series) I've only seen the first few dvds. So far not too bad. But really Abel's voice is a bit annoying but he reminds me of Vash the stampede for some reason. The animation is pretty superb.

Claymore: I'm actually Youtubing this one right now coz only the first dvd is out in english and I wanted to watch it before buying it so I wasn't wasting $20 on an anime I knew nothing about. But I would have to say it would have been damned well worth it. The animtion is really neat it has its blood and gore, but Clare is badass. She's basically half-yoma(demon) and half human that goes around demon hunting and is from an organization of demon hunters which they call claymores. I've only seen the first three episodes but I'm seriously looking into watching the rest.

Vampire KNight: Luv Zero. Kind of a cute love story about vampires with the mystery and some suspense. I'm also reading the mang and I do like the series. I've read better vampire stories but its still worth looking into.

Shuffle! : basically another tenchi muyo Love HINA series thats actually based off a hentai game. lol. although its not that dirty but it has its funny moments. I actually enjoyed this show regardless of the many dirty jokes and panty shots and the ending was a real shocker!

HellGirl: Love it. Ai,.....some scary ass lil girl that comes and kills whoever you want out of vengeance.......but you have to pay your soul to do it. Have fun in hell.

Movies

The Eye: with Jessica Alba. For a movie based of a chinese movie it was actually worth watching. And I didn't hate it unlike the grudge and the ring. Mind you it was only good to watch the one time. I rented it and I enjoyed it. I advise renting it for a late night scare.

Eagle Eye: with shia lebouf(sp?) I went and saw this with Chris and my friend Jason. And it was non stop action. Not a movie I would have normally picked as my first choice to see in a theatre but I wasn't disappointed either. It is one I would recommend to go see or otherwise rent it at least when it comes out. It has its twists and like I said it constantly has you guessing until about three quaters into the movie.

The Host: cheesy ass asian movie. I normally like asain movies....but this was by far.....boring. the part when they are basically throwing themselves on the ground bawling for what reasons....was ridiculous it made me laugh even tho they were suppose to be grieving. lol Lucky it was a free rental at family video so i didn't feel bad not watching the whole thing.

Brotherhood of the Wolf: for a european movie it was actually pretty decent. you can watch it in english I think the original langauge is french if i'm not mistaken. but i was running on the treadmill while watching it i couldn't read and run at the same time lol. but i was good its got a whole is it a werewolf feel to it with some indians and some weird politics kick as ivy type sword in it........Highly recommended. it is a bit long tho I will warn. I won't ruin what the beast really is its a suprise and a good one.

Music

Nightwish: I've heard of them but never really listened to them. They're pretty decent. Have a male and female singer

Sirenia: nother girl lead band, kinda peculiar but I like a few of their songs. Youtube them to see if you like them

Songs:

Iced Earth- I died for you
Monoral- Kiri from Ergo proxy theme song
Kanon Wakashima- Still Doll (from Vampire KNight ending theme) creepiest fucking anime song ever but LOVE IT!~!!
Red-Pieces
ON/OFF- Futatsu No Kodou To Akai Tsumi (vampire knight opening theme) two hot twin asain guys.......what more could a women want and the song is good too.

Manga

Wild ones: good love story with a bit of the yakuza in the mix
Ral-Grad: definetely more aimed at boys. A kid and a dragon made of shadow out to save the world so that they can have all the boobies they want....okay?
Genju No Sieza still love the series....can't wait for the rest
Fairy Cube: another Kaori Yuki manga...love the artwork. story a bit short but was still touching
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[07 Nov 2008|11:09pm]
Currently listening to "Chasing Cars"by snow patrol "I don't care and Sos, anything but love by Apocalyptica.

So its Devil's night. Not doing anything really. Just doing a few touch ups on my costume. Just gonna wear my Misao costume for halloween. just say I'm a ninja for those that will have no idea. I really wish I could do a witchblade costume. would definetely have to be a party only costume. But don't have big enough boobs let alone am skinny enough at the moment.

Not really looking forward to tomorrow. I have nothing to do. I really wanted to hang out with Pence but he's working at the haunted festival type thing. Gonna go see him saturday. and gonna go to the movies with him on sunday. I miss hanging out with him. Last time we got to gether and went shopping and went and saw Death Race. was a pretty cool movie.

But my last resort was calling up donut and seeing what everyone in hesperia is doing. I knew he was gonna be hanging out with mike. I guess I just still don't feel that comfortable hanging out with mike. some wounds just haven't quite healed yet. And knowing that the other girls he's been with will be there is kind of awkward.

I'm almost ready to just leave michigan. Only one more year of school if I'm not mistaken. and then Chris and I are getting married and leaving.

Things with chris and I were a little rocky for a while. Once I got over being stubborn I sat down finally and we talked things out. We're all good now.

Geez when I started this entry I wanted to say so much more and now I can't think of anytning to write. I guess I'm just so stressed and tired. And contemplative. I don't know if I want to go tomorrow. I don't mind seeing Tim, and creepy. but its more of the matter if they want to see me I suppose. I guess I'm just still worried that if anyone hates me. None of them are really my friends. I just wish chris would have had the day off and we could have went to the movies and such. I am just happy that we have a week off together to ourselves. especially since we managed to find a copy of Champions Return to arms so we can play.

Chris bought me a new copy of the Crow. I is so happy. its even the special edition so that the deleted scenes you can watch and all that. we also got us a new 40 inch sony bravia hdtv. awesome. fable 2 looks sweet.



I try to make it through my life, in my way, there's you
I try to make it through these lies, that's all I do

Just don't deny it
Just don't deny it and deal with it, yeah
Just deal with it

You try to break me,
You wanna break me...bit by bit,
That's just part of it

If you were dead or still alive
I don't care, I don't care
And all the things you left behind
I don't care, I don't care

I try to make you see my side
Always trying to stay in line
But your eyes see right through
That's all they do

I'm getting tired of this shit
I've got no room when it's like this
What you want of me just deal with it

SO!

If you were dead or still alive
I don't care, I don't care
And all the things you left behind
I don't care, I don't care

(nothing can care about, nothing can care about)
(you won't be there for me, you won't be there for me)

If you were dead or still alive
I don't care, I don't care
And all the things you left behind
I don't care, I don't care
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David%u2019s Bridal [28 Sep 2008|04:14pm]
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Quick update [25 Sep 2008|11:22pm]
Am addicted to Shaiya. Free MMorpg. me and chris just keep playing. been reading brisingr the new inheritance book. Eragon for those of you that don't read them. wondering when moms birthday presents are gonna get here. should be anytime. making dnd characters. I'm a halfling ranger....coz i is kool shit like that. lol. trying to lose weight. failing. working harder ont hat now. Miss chris. he works too much and I close mostly this next fw weeks. but we did ask for a week off together. hopefully we get it.

Think I saw Mike monday. I had taken Misao up to my moms to get fixed. she is still sore. He was lying in a drive way??? Talked to Donut. sure enough it was them. weirdos. Can't believe some of the things mike is doing. but well its his choices. I just hope he knows some of those things aren't really that attractive...period.

Started doodling again. hopefully it turns into something better.

Well I'm not feeling so great all of a sudden. need sleep.

UPdate more later.
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Lots has happened [31 Aug 2008|10:58pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

So wow yea its been like two months. Lesse we did end up going to see his mom and had a blast getting towed around on a tube and getting sunburned. lol. S'okay not like I couldn't use a tan.  After that the week later I ended up having bunches of vacation so I used them. Didn't end up getting to go to the anime convention which is fine. Planning on going to a bigger one instead some time later. After that we started moving. Hella of a time. I hate moving. I've come to that conclusion that and I just have too much shit really. I have two bookcases now one is full of manga that is still neverending and may need another bookshelf for and then there is the onther one for my artbooks and regular books which is getting full in itself. then my cabinet for my anime is full that I actually have my anime boxsets standing up in some sort of pyramid shape. Been buying too much anime too. Manga been reading Genju no Seiza, Vampire KNight, and petshop of horrors tokyo. Then anime been watching Hellgirl, Shuffle and finished Rurouni Kenshin. Kenshin sorta sucked coz they never finished the series. It just sort of ended and well the last season was mostly filler so you never really knew if Kenshin and Kaoru end up together luckily I own all the manga and know how it truly ends. I was wondering if Fate/Stay night was any good. I also bought Hellsing the original and some of the newer well coz mostly FYE has buy one gett one free anime all the time so I figured what the hell I'll try some.  Been watching the Vampire KNight anime too on Youtube. yay.

As for games bought the new soul calibur. Wasn't that impressed and not to mentio the chicks look butch. seriously its hard to look at cassandra. ivy was always dykish looking. Found FF tatics for two bucks at a yard sale so chris has been playing that and I've been playing FF9 coz we found that at a game hits store and I liked it. We started also playing Zelda Four swords together. we suck lol.

So I met Chris' dad he came up for around the fourth of july. Him and his girlfriend stayed for a few days. Had dinner mostly and spent some time together. Terri is fun, she played guitar hero with me...sort of. lol. Showed them some of my schoolwork and what not and listened to a bunch of stories of Chris and them when they were kids. fun stuff. After that it came time to officially move everything had to be out by the end of july. so we got all moved in about a week later I gots a puppy.

I named her Misao. just like the weasel girl. Coz she is one, she escapes from everything and gets into everything. little devil dog. But she's cute and I love her to death. She's just having training issues coz I  can't be home with her at all times. But she has her good days. So I'm hoping for the best. I'll have to get some pictures of her up on myspace now that I've got my camera fixed.

Work has been hell. Had to fight my boss about whyI didn't get an exceeds when I should have. Told him like it was, and I gots it dammit. Twenty more cents an hour than if I would have gotten a meets. Need the money especially since My car costs too damned much. Not to mention I feel bad coz Chris pays for mostly everything. I try and help out every once in a while. Mostly I buy groceries and then the money to wash our clothes. lol.

Not much happening in August. I did change my degree. Instead of computer animation I'm more into Game Art and Animation. So more specifically for games versus movies. so thats cool. I looked into the academy of art in san fran. I'm thinking after I get my degree and work about a year or so while chris is going back to school saving up and maybe getting a degree in concept art as well.

Haven't done anything too creative lately, cept for Chris' niece Megan I decided to make her a quilt kinda like I did mike. Cept with a fairy. I used Ainsel from Kaori Yuki's Fairy Cube. So I made her a quilt that has a big fairy on the front of it a with a butterfly backing. Just finished it today so I still have yet to send it. Although its a belated birthday present seeming her b=day was like the seventeenth. but she said it was okay. so doesn't know what I made its a suprise. lol. Chris was really happy though for some reason when I said I was going to make it. I think he's just happy that I'm starting to want to do creative things again. I haven't drawn really cept for school since him and I got together. Painted every once in a while. But no sketching or nothing cept a few sketches of chris while he was sleeping coz he just looked so cute. lol.
Been going to the beach lately. Got a bit of a sunburn and tanned kinda nicely. So not pasty ghosty white anymore. Well a little. But lake michigan is fun. Chris and I have gone a few times and jumped and surfed on the waves with some rafts lol.

Mom and I gots to talking and well me and Chris gots to talking. We think we've figured out a date for the wedding. May of 2010. Gives me a year and roughtly a half. little more. Mom wants me to wait till I'm closer to being finished with school. Which is understandable if she's gonna wanna help pay for anything. We didn't have the money to do it next year so this way I can pick up some small things here and there and we only ahve to worry about the big stuff when the time comes. So we agreed. Next september we're officially announcing our engagement, prolly in a newspaper and then having an engagement party roughly about eight months before the wedding. Got my colors picked, Desi and Sam are my bridesmaids, Troy and Troy are Chris' groomsmen. gonna have lil megan be my flower girl and Clayton as my ringbearer my bro as an usher so it all works out well. Our song is gonna be Iris by the goo goo dolls coz its just me and chris' song just worked out that way. We have many others. Prolly put those in some where too.

Got my hair cut. I miss my hair. -cries-

Growing it back out dammit.

Finished the Twilight series. Last book was s0=so. But overall it was a good series. Dunno what else to read now. I do have my big book of wedding crap and planner that I need to start working on.

Had a family reunion today poor chris had to suffera nd go with me. lol but we had deviled eggs and he always likes those. theyw ere a huge hit and were gone period once finished. But we had fun him and dad chased eachother around with water balloons. lol. I took some pictures.

I suppose I should be getting to bed, I want to go to Burley park tomorrow. HUGE ASS FLEA MARKET!!!! maybe i'll find some good deals there. like MANGA yay. doubtful. oh well.

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Moving again [24 Jun 2008|11:01pm]
So well we checked out our new apartment, signed the lease and we are officially moving anytime. I want to paint the walls or at least a few of them chris doesn't see the point because its not our home and well we're only planning on being there a year. I see his point but at the same time I guess I just want to make it look a little more homey. So I dunno. But it is a really nice apartment and I'm a little excited to be moving cept for the fact that its just going to be a pain int he ass. oh well. we're on the third floor again which sucks but can't be helped.

Ruby wasn't able to get fixed because she decided to go in heat the day off. -_- And then mom called me today and told me her and rosco got latched so there might be a chance of ruby being pregnant. If thats the case then I either have to wait like four months to get a dog. or...get one of the puppies. which I almost wouldn't mind getting a puppy coz then I can train it from what I want versus ruby who's already a year old and use to her surroundings. So I've been looking into things for a puppy. Kinda costly. I think I'm going to actually make a bed for her instead. would be cheaper. I think I'm still going to settle and paint the bedroom and bathroom anyway without his permission. coz i can. lol.

We got our table finally and its pretty. I just have to fix my chairs which is what I'm gonna be doing tomorrow with my mom, getting yard sale up and running and trying to make some money. sell some extra comics and what not. sell my drumset hopefully and make some money to help keep up with bills as we're moving. dbl rent sucks. lucky we only have to pay half months rent for the new place so we have time to move in. Tried claiming our 100 dollar gift card for leasing an apartment from off of rent.com. Was actually going to talkt o chirs about trying to apply for a bridge card. I hear some single ppl that are going to school might be eligible. I'm not sure how well he's at getting help from the state or I guess in a sense charity. I know they won't give us much coz I work and do make a fair amount of money but hell even $50 a month would be nice. gallon of milk and cereal and what not would be helpful.

Got my lunar 2 almost beaten it. been playing guitar hero and getting on xbox live lately. If you wanna play we me my name is LUNAR lucia. yea i know cheesy name. couldn't think of nothing else. guncat was already taken and some how my email was too. dunno how that works.  but oh well. guess I should be getting to bed have to get up early and go through some things and take with me. gonna be driving chris' pos. yay. thursday we're visiting his family his step dad is excited to see us so thats cool. we're going water skiing I suppose. never done that before. should be interesting. or tubing for that matter. wanna go canoeing or what not but will have to see about that. trying to go to the thunderbird races on saturday hoping to see what dad says.

well later all. CHA!
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If only money grew on trees.... [05 Jun 2008|09:49am]
This week, has sucked. Hardcore. Tuesday, I ended up being late for work, coz i thought I closed and not opened. Awesome. So I just worked the six hours and went home. On my way home, I almost got t-boned by some dickhead who proceeded to follow me after words, U-turning and almost hitting someone else to tell me that my blinker had not been on. Funny it was, he just didn't happen to even look in my direction.  So this automatically pissed me right the fuck off, because I was still in shock, (it happened basically right in front of my house) and to blame me was uneccesary. So I chewed him out telling him that my blinker was on and he wasn't paying attention and even if it hadn't that if he can't see a fucking car right the fuck in front of him then he shouldn't be driving in the first place, yadda yadday you fat fuck blah blah blah and basically I chewed him out so bad that he didn't get another word in. I was so scared, so shaken I went into the house slammed the door, chris comes out asks if I'm okay and then YAS I start screaming at him. lol. he got mad at me at first until he finally heard what I was screaming about. So then he carried me to bed and I proceeded to cry, because realizing I could have died, just hit me. And the nerve of that guy. Made me more angry. 

My period started, damned cramps. Death to me seriously. And then Chris proceeded to later go play games without saying anything and leaving me alone to be bored by myself as per usual. So I went out for a walk, came home didn't tell him where I was and didn't talk to him the rest of the evening. 

Next morning got up early and got ready to go to my moms house. Chris and I talked sort of. Mowed lawn, washed walls and her other house is almost ready to rent out. Went to goodwill and got some clothes for work, and a few other things. Got home ot her house harvey being retarded, dylan being retarded and I think my uncle randy hates me.  awesome. Got my Lunar 2 eternal blue box and then opened it to find out that the wrong discs are in there. its fragments of the first and second game. I only really got the soundtrack and the third disc to lunar 2. so i emailed the lady and told her that I was diappointed and it sucked. I really wanted to play it. She emailed me back and said she was just cleaning out her kids' games and selling them, she didn't realize that it was the wrong ones, so she's sending me the right ones. So at least so far thats worked out. 

found out that to get ruby fixed will cost $135 and then the security deposit for a dog is $150 I dont' have th emoeny. Chris hasn't found out if he's got that one week off. and so he gave me an ultimatum. Either we go to the anime convention or he'll help me pay for ruby to get fixed.
SO I guess I'm not going to the anime convention coz I told him we could always go some other time. It just sucks...I really wanted to go was looking forward to going. but I just know we couldn't most likely anyway. i got my hopes up for nothing. oh well. I do need to get a bluetooth headset while i'm thinking about it. next pay check. 

So I will be getting a puppy at least which is somethgn i want. I don't like bieng home all by myself , she'll modivate me to go outside and job a bit, so I'm looking forward to having something, that needs me.  Especially since, chris...is never around because of work. And it sucks. I hate his job and I don't even work it. I hate my job too and feel like I should quit , alot more now actually.
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Too much work [29 May 2008|11:26pm]
So work has been hell. We had a major reset in our department and alot of our associates went to third shift to do it and had a week to do it which they ended up doing wrong so the day shift had only three days to fix it over the lovely holiday weekend. I did manage to get three days off which I really shouldn't have coz I could have used the extra hours but I really needed a break from work. I wanted to quit twice this week with how I was treated at some instances and like the fact that they didn't even get in trouble for not doing their job really pissed me off. but if it was me, I would have gotten the boot. I guess coz I don't suck cock in the company I can't get anywhere. -rolls eyes-

Although Sunday I had off. didn't do much all day that day. played shadow hearts covenant and finally beat teh damned thing. tried playing Genji dawn of the samurai. not very good at that game lol. and its subtiltled. good and a bad thing really. Chris has been playing Lunar since I found it at a story for $60 He's enjoying it. I was just glad to find the damned thing. And with all its stuff.

Monday I took Chris' vehicle and drove to my store and ended up getting a friggin $200 sewing machine for like $80 I was sooo geeked. Took that home and tried learning how to use it. After he got home we went to my moms for memorial day dinner. Had a cookout, played outside with the puppies. went to walmart got some material and smores stuff and headed home. He played lunar I worked on my misao costume. Got the gauntlets done.

Tuesday more work. yay.

Wednesday, worked in the morning. came home. we got taco bell watched some kenshin, played computers and just talked really. Got into a bit of a heated discusions but we're all good now. WE don't really ever argue its usually me getting upset about something. Me being a girl for you.

Paid all my bills...ugh...now i'm broke.

Today I went to my moms. Argued with some people working on her other house. Went to the mall and ate some chinese. went to the game store, nothing there, went to FYE got the second vol of DMC and got me a DMC4 shirt on sale. Went to the comic shop. got like one thing. yay. and then we were runnig late so we headed home.

got home, chilled at moms for a while. watche national treasure 2, wasn't too bad. bid on Lunar 2 eternal blue on ebay. got it for total with shipping for $65 so not much more than the first and it comes with the strategy guide for the first one so its all good. but i saw that it can go up to fricking $140 I was amazed. the strategy guide alone they want $120 I couldn't believe that. I just hope that its a working one. I just want to play the game coz I never beat taht one only got about half way through. And I also have the Lunar Dragon song game for the DS but that one doesn't seem that good.

Chris will lecture me about buying a game. technically its my moms until i pay her back .lol since I don't have an ebay account. lol.

Work tomorrow. yay.
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AN IDEA!!! [21 May 2008|09:13pm]
So I finally decided who i wanted to cosplay as if chris and I go to the convention, but we need to figure it out soon so I can get working on the costume if we're going or not. Misao Makimachi, and Lord Aoshi from Rurouni Kenshin. I choose this coz we've been watching Kenshin as of late and I always liked her in the mange. I find her absolutely annoying and fun to play as at a convention. Run around screaming Kencho Kick and what not and throw daggers at everyone while talking loud and never stopping. Chris won't talk much and he's soooo tall and so is Aoshi compared to Misao that I figured would look best. Misao's costume easy to make just a little ninja outift could get it done in a week if I really worked at it. Aoshi not sooo hard coz chris just wear dress shoes, navy dress pants, and I make the top out of navy of a karate looking gi and possibly cross our fingers find a business looking trench coat/duster at a goodwill and just sew on some gold for the lapel and we'd be all good, and maybe let him wear a bit of a black wig. Thats whats gonna cost the most for the misao costume. Wigs are fucking expensive and most only places you can get a good one....fucking another country, shipping is more than the damn wig itself. -le sigh- too bad davey wasn't around I know he did einishi once if I'm not mistaken. we could all go together. well anyway. tootles. If i see a good looking Kenshin there, I'm gonna scream. and kencho kick him

Cher
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Sooo tired. [19 May 2008|03:47pm]
Well its been  pretty busy on my part. Still haven't gotten to see speed racer though. am working on that.

Chris and I merged our cell phones. only saving us like twenty dollars but hey theres my rent for having a puppy. lol. We also am getting our new apartment. Most likely we're starting to move in on the 11 of july. Gotta paint start packing and what not. Started going through my things and clothes and getting rid of a bunch of stuff and hopefully sell some of it at moms yardsale. Need to finish paying her off and what not. Get my doctors bill paid and then hopefully be caught up.

Our new apartment is nice. its bigger than the one we're in now, has a swimming pool a club house and a gym. a dog park which is what i'm totally most geeked about is i'm gonna be able to have a puppy. I just get lonely here sometimes I want something to keep me company and maybe help out in case of danger. they like to bark lol. I'm most likely getting Ruby the first puppy that lily had. also the new apartment has a balcony another thing I'm exited about. I can lounge around out in the sun in my own privacy coz we'll be on the top floor. mind you it will suck walking but oh well. And I don't think ruby has ever really managed going up stairs. I'll prolly have to carry her. -_- oi. 

So thats one thing i'm excited about and thats the greatest news is moving. I'm excited but dread packing lol. We also got us a table. FINALLY, but now i have to finish redoing my chairs so it'll look all nice when it comes time to move and we can actually eat at a table like civilized people. YAY.

Still don't know if i'm going to the aniem convention. chris needs to find out if he gets the week off or not. I know I am regardless. so -shrugs- I really do want to go though. IT would be a once in a lifetime experience. Not a huge convention but still would be fun.

Been playing shadow hearts covenant. Pretty cool so far. the VA of Kenshin plays blanca/kurando. I thought that funny since I'm currently watching Kenshin also. ONly problem is my ps3 has been freezing up at random times in the game. read online and someone things it might be due to over heating. uh oh. so i pulled it out of the cabinet that we have it in and been only playing about an hour at a time. I killed it. most likely. lol.

But anyway am goingto cook stew for suppa. Luv yas later
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Just another shitty day [13 May 2008|10:45pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]

Talked to Donut the other night, he's basically the only one that will listen to my jibberish as of late. Poor guy. lol. haven't really been doing much. Monday took mom and grandma out for mothers day. Did a bit of shopping and bought a bunch of books and cds. found chris a few ties for his spiffy outfits. whether he wears them or not is a different story.

Came home to him coz he had the day off, cuddled up on the couch and watched some Kenshin and ate some Lee's. And then I found it. The note I guess mike had written me over a year ago. It made me cry. Chris had no idea what was going on. lol. I cried, and I was angry at the same time. I was sad coz I knew I hurt mike and he was genuinely sweet in the letter but I was mad because in the letter he had made a promise to try and be friends with me, that he was determined that that wasn't goign to chang and that I could always count on him...and so far, not one of those things have happened. It made me angry, and I'm not sure why. Chris held me and talked to me about it. He told me that sometiems when a guy is hurt its just easier and better for them to hate the other person, because being friends is just too hard. And honestly if that was the case, I would rather just mike come out and say it, that he hated me, so I could find some small closure instead of having my small of hopes thinking that someday maybe we really could be friends. I've invited him out to do things, and he makes excuses, or blows me off or just doesn't bother calling me back. its slightly frustrating. Its not like a date, its not like its one on one I've invited him as a group with other people so its just hanging out. I'm also angry that no one has bothered to invite me to anything.

But in the end, I think I wouldn't want to hang out with mike on a regular basis, I hear he drinks alot, and what little I did see of him drinking, it discouraged me. It made me sad, and I felt sorry for him, but at the same time, a bit of small loathing for him to waste himself away like that. He's alot smarter than that, and shouldn't be wasting himself away on silly things. he should be living for himself right now and doing things for himself and becoming independent. Nice guys, always finish last.

Aside from all that, work sucked. I'm alwasy getting stuck in electronics by myself. I've been working too hard. I can't wait till my week vacation. Chris and I are applying for a new apartment on friday and merging our cell phone bills. yay. I finally picked a colors for my wedding. mind you i have all the time int he world since its not for two more  years. I keep failing classes and it will be longer. -le sigh-

I suppose. I have to work in the morning. better get some sleep.

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