Talked to Donut the other night, he's basically the only one that will listen to my jibberish as of late. Poor guy. lol. haven't really been doing much. Monday took mom and grandma out for mothers day. Did a bit of shopping and bought a bunch of books and cds. found chris a few ties for his spiffy outfits. whether he wears them or not is a different story.
Came home to him coz he had the day off, cuddled up on the couch and watched some Kenshin and ate some Lee's. And then I found it. The note I guess mike had written me over a year ago. It made me cry. Chris had no idea what was going on. lol. I cried, and I was angry at the same time. I was sad coz I knew I hurt mike and he was genuinely sweet in the letter but I was mad because in the letter he had made a promise to try and be friends with me, that he was determined that that wasn't goign to chang and that I could always count on him...and so far, not one of those things have happened. It made me angry, and I'm not sure why. Chris held me and talked to me about it. He told me that sometiems when a guy is hurt its just easier and better for them to hate the other person, because being friends is just too hard. And honestly if that was the case, I would rather just mike come out and say it, that he hated me, so I could find some small closure instead of having my small of hopes thinking that someday maybe we really could be friends. I've invited him out to do things, and he makes excuses, or blows me off or just doesn't bother calling me back. its slightly frustrating. Its not like a date, its not like its one on one I've invited him as a group with other people so its just hanging out. I'm also angry that no one has bothered to invite me to anything.
But in the end, I think I wouldn't want to hang out with mike on a regular basis, I hear he drinks alot, and what little I did see of him drinking, it discouraged me. It made me sad, and I felt sorry for him, but at the same time, a bit of small loathing for him to waste himself away like that. He's alot smarter than that, and shouldn't be wasting himself away on silly things. he should be living for himself right now and doing things for himself and becoming independent. Nice guys, always finish last.
Aside from all that, work sucked. I'm alwasy getting stuck in electronics by myself. I've been working too hard. I can't wait till my week vacation. Chris and I are applying for a new apartment on friday and merging our cell phone bills. yay. I finally picked a colors for my wedding. mind you i have all the time int he world since its not for two more years. I keep failing classes and it will be longer. -le sigh-
I suppose. I have to work in the morning. better get some sleep.